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Update #9 – $129,358 Raised!

9/24/20 Charlie is continuing to make progress at residential treatment. He’s working hard on the process for getting his own dog for daytime. He had a bit of a setback due to some issues between him and some other students. He has been challenged to work on developing greater frustration tolerance and emotional regulation before getting a canine, and will have to redo some of his paperwork. This has proven to be a real motivator for him to ask for help when he needs it and to be willing to do the work that is required for his healing.
I continue to wrestle with our insurance company, trying to appeal their denial of everything past Charlie’s first three days in treatment. First they said they didn’t receive documentation from his facility of the medical necessity for him to be at this level of care. I gave them the date that the information was sent, as well as the date it was sent the second time when they said they didn’t receive it the first time. Then they said that they got it, but it didn’t contain sufficient evidence of the medical necessity. I told them that I have copies of what was sent, and that I’ve read their standards and guidelines and that the documentation does include everything they need and that their standards have been met.
The next step is for me to formally request Charlie’s records with the insurance company, to see if all the documentation was uploaded into their system. Then I will try to speak with the doctor who reviewed his case to find out why he or she thinks that three days was all Charlie needed to be healed of his PTSD and developmental trauma. Sigh.
I don’t know what we would do without all of you! So far, $108,952 has been spent on Charlie’s care ($33,592 paid by us out of pocket and $75,360 from your donations), and we have only been reimbursed for $1500 of that. We are so grateful for everyone’s prayers and financial assistance.
Charlie is only five months into his treatment, and now that his program knows Charlie and his issues better, they have told us to expect that he will be in treatment for at least 18 months instead of 14. We have updated the need amount on his fundraising page to reflect this additional four months of treatment.

UPDATE #8- $122,813 Raised!

9/2/20 – I have good news and bad news to share today. The good news is that we finally got some insurance reimbursement for Charlie’s residential treatment! The bad news is that they only covered the first three days he was there. They say that further treatment beyond that is not medically necessary.

This is, of course, ridiculous. Charlie’s PTSD is so severe that he could not safely be with us at home without wanting to take his own life! The level of complex trauma that he suffered cannot be healed in such a short time. There is a reason that the average stay at his treatment center is 15 months. We are appealing, obviously. Please pray for that to go well.

No other real news to report. The kids have been doing watersports in their Adventure Therapy with a focus on learning good communication skills. Apparently Charlie picked up waterskiing really quickly – he is quite the athlete!

The fundraiser is up to $122,813. Donations have really slowed down, but we have enough right now to cover a few more months. I trust that when we need more, God will take care of it just as he has been doing all along.

UPDATE #7- $114,230 Raised!

I am excited to announce that due to the generosity of an anonymous donor who contributed THREE MONTHS worth of his residential treatment, the fundraiser total is now up to $114,230, which is almost 60% of our total need! And it comes just in time to allow us to close on our refinance on Monday without having to take out so much cash to afford Charlie’s treatment. Thank you dear donor!


UPDATE #6- $69,050 Raised!

7/9/2020- We are at $69,050 which is enough to cover 36% of the cost of Charlie’s treatment. We are paid up through July and have enough left to pay for August and September. Thank you so much for your generosity!

Two months ago we began the process of refinancing our home to take cash out to fund Charlie’s treatment. Refinances right now are taking way longer than usual because low interest rates have caused a spike in demand. That has turned out to be a good thing for us, because it has given us more time to raise funds. The more money we raise now, the less cash we will need to take out. It is a very difficult thing to think about starting over on another 30-year mortgage after being ten years in.

So, if anyone has been thinking of donating, now would be a particularly helpful time. Next week is our deadline for any changes in loan terms.

Thank you all for your prayers and donations!

UPDATE #5 – $62,598 Raised!

6/30/2020- I just had the most wonderful weekend with Charlie at his residential treatment program! It’s the first time I’ve gotten to visit since he arrived there two months ago.

Parents aren’t allowed on campus right now because of COVID, so they have a clubhouse set up down the road with board games, air hockey, arcade games (I surprised Charlie with my Galaga skills!), Cornhole, arcade basketball, and video games (I did not impress Charlie with my non-existent Xbox skills ). We also celebrated his July 4th birthday early – I had lots of gifts to give him from our whole extended family.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, and was trying not to have any expectations, but Charlie was really glad I came, and didn’t want me to leave at the end. That felt so incredibly good, after all the months of him feeling triggered by my presence. It was such a blessed weekend of playful connecting.

I also have good news from the fundraiser! It is now up to $62,598, which is one third of what is needed for his 12-15 months of treatment. We are so grateful for all who have prayed, shared, and donated. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

UPDATE #4 – $52,892 Raised!

6/12/2020- Time for the weekly Charlie update! Thanks to all of your shares, prayers and donations, his fundraiser is up to $52,892, which is 28% of the total need and will cover about 3-1/2 months of residential treatment.

As Charlie progresses through his treatment, he will become eligible to foster (and someday adopt and bring home) his own dog. The process involves an application, writing essays and providing references, training, placement, and finalization ceremonies, much like the human foster/adoption process.

Charlie will learn how to train his dog to regulate it’s impulses, thereby learning the same skills. He will also learn how to co-regulate emotionally – if Charlie is upset, the dog will either help to calm him, or become visibly sad, which will motivate Charlie to learn to regulate his emotions to help the dog.

By learning to provide commitment, acceptance, and security to his dog, and learning to attune to its needs and meet them, Charlie will essentially be practicing safe and healthy attachment, which is designed to be transferable to us upon his return home.

UPDATE #3 – $41,527 Raised!

6/5/2020- Do you need a little good news? Charlie’s fundraiser donation total is up to $41,527, which is 22% of our total need. This is almost enough to pay for three months of his residential treatment.

Our country is hurting so much right now. We can only oppose hatred with love. Each one of you who has prayed for Charlie, contributed to the cost of his treatment, or shared his fundraiser on your timeline has done just that. Thank you.

Thank you all again, and please continue to keep Charlie in your prayers!

UPDATE #2 – $32,087 Raised!

5/27/2020- We are amazed and humbled at the love everyone is showing for our son! Our total in donations right now is $32,087, which is 17% of our total need. This is enough to pay for two full months of treatment plus the co-pays from Charlie’s recent hospitalizations. Thank you so much!

Today it has been one month since Tom took Charlie to his residential treatment center. Charlie continues to feel quite depressed. The doctor is making adjustments from week to week. It is an excruciatingly slow process, trying to find the right medications (or combination of medications) in the right doses.

Being with the other kids and taking comfort in the therapy dogs is getting Charlie through right now, while his therapists and treatment team focus on building a trusting relationship with him so that he can eventually feel safe enough to do the hard work of processing his trauma.

Remember that all donations are tax-deductible, have no fees, and are sent directly to the treatment center.

Thank you all again, and please continue to keep Charlie in your prayers!

Adoptive Families Coalition (AFC) is writing to you on behalf of Charlie’s family. We are assisting them in funding their son’s treatment not covered by insurance. There are very few resources for adoptive families who face the challenges of expensive and lengthy care. We need a community of support! Please consider if you can make a one time or monthly donation to offer Charlie a bright future.

100% of your tax-deductible donation goes directly to the treatment provider. Thank you! 


AFC is a non-profit organization dedicated to the holistic support of adoptive families. Families who faced similar challenges firsthand and understand the need for support founded the nonprofit.